People keep asking me, what made you want to do bikini competitions? It wasn’t that I had friends doing it. In fact, I knew no one that did it. I knew nothing about it.
The first person that mentioned it to me, not suggesting I do it, but simply mentioning it was a trainer at Gold’s Gym. He showed me pictures of his wife and I thought, “Why is he showing me these pictures? This is something I would never be interested in. It seemed so shallow and so far away from anything I would ever consider doing. Plus, I could never look like that.” And I dismissed it.
Apparently, my brain dismissed it but it stayed somewhere in me like a little seed. I started wondering if I had what it takes to do this but I was too embarrassed to actually say it out loud. So I started asking a little more about it. It became easier to explore and I got encouragement from trainers at the gym that it was something I could totally do. That built my confidence and I decided that maybe I would go for it. I asked my husband what he thought. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t a stupid or shallow goal. The idea of looking like the bikini competitors I saw online was amazing, although I never thought I would actually look like that. I didn’t think I could belong to that group. (leftover attachments from high school).
During this whole time, my husband and I had been creating this revolutionary personal development program aimed at eliminating self-sabotage. We called it the AHA Solution. It basically allows you to identify the self-sabotaging behaviors and talk you do all day to yourself, stop doing it and choose another path. Sounds simple, but it’s not. It is when you do the steps we created, however. Otherwise, you just keep repeating the same mistakes and misery over and over.
It never dawned on me until just a couple weeks ago what an enormous role the AHA Solution played in helping me achieve this goal of competition bodybuilding. It allowed me to feel worthy. To feel like I was good enough to get on stage and strut my stuff. To feel like it was ok for me to express my more feminine side without being ashamed. I wasn’t rejecting myself any longer. And when I won, I could be proud of myself and feel good about myself instead of making excuses for myself, thus no longer depriving myself.
Had I not ended my self-sabotage there would be no way I could have possibly accomplished what I have. And continue to set the mark high for myself. There is no one in my way any longer. No one saying, “You aren’t good enough. Who do you think you are?”
And I am so thankful for that! I am so thankful I can be fully me.
If you would like to learn more about self-sabotage and the AHA Solution, click here and watch a free video.